Technological Escapist Gifts

Time for chastity. XXX, Viagra, low-rate mortgages, free money. It's not even connected to the internet! Viruses contracted. Imploding.

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

Second lifeReal life.

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Cat Asleep on a Computer.

Cyber Dream

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

Hot Towel Web Service

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

The income gap is widening into a massive divide. Instability will follow. I'm not pleading for the middle class, I'm pleading for our future. House of Java .net Cybercafe. We can't have only rich and poor, for that was goes serfdom, instability, and eventually, collapse through inevitable revolution from below. Are you following what I'm saying? Are you listening? Not just listening. I'm listening while also playing Angry Birds. I've got no chance here, do I? Me either. The higher levels are br

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"When catch-up TV finally catches up"

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

What's with our son? For once he's not online. I dealt with him. He's steaming mad. What did you do? I handled his addiction to texting, IM-ing, games and Facebook with calm maturity. Dad! Where did you hide my laptop?!! Modern maturity.

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cellphones or video games."

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

"And this brings to a conclusion, thank goodness, our broadcast day."

"Goddess of Good give me strength! I must. . . get. . . off. . . the. . . internet!"

"Please excuse my husband his media bubble just burst."

Hiding From Social Media

Message in a bottle.

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."