Infidelity Gifts

"My dad was too much of a babe magnet for the marriage to have worked."

"… and then Roger discovered fly fishing and I discovered Gregory."

Emotional Strongman

'I want a divorce...He's not the father of my child.'

'Now, I'm curious as to why there would be blonde hair in your hairball!'

"I've never asked Ralph, but I think there's another woman."

"Your wife ran off with your best friend? Interesting... go with that."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"And this one is for being faithful to my wife."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

'Right, how can I help you?'

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

"Your husband is fooling around."

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

"When he stopped to smell the flowers, his wife found out whose flowers they were!"

'I do still love you, Morton, but there's a subtext.'

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

"Helen, I really wish you would respect my creative process."

'The first wives club'

"So you think I should just ignore it?"

"If you kept up with my blog, you'd understand."

'-you would tell me if there was someone else, wouldn't you, Doris

'No, Keith. It isn't just the same as me bringing Teddy to bed!'

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

'We recorded your wife's activities like you asked and-well...Are you sure you want to see the photos, Mr. Watts?'

"Please Mr. Ainsworth - He may talk!"

Another Case of Domestic Violins.

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'

'It's our wedding anniversary today, Pete, I bet my husband forgets all about it, again.'

"You were going to leave him for a woman, so what's the difference if he left you for a man?"

'I was just curious to see what my husband spends all his money on...'