Dealing With Infidelity Gifts

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

"So you think I should just ignore it?"

'We recorded your wife's activities like you asked and-well...Are you sure you want to see the photos, Mr. Watts?'

'The first wives club'

'No, Keith. It isn't just the same as me bringing Teddy to bed!'

X marks the spot.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Better get two dozen. She won't be able to hit you as hard with both arms full."

"My dad was too much of a babe magnet for the marriage to have worked."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

'Right, how can I help you?'

"… and then Roger discovered fly fishing and I discovered Gregory."

'Now, I'm curious as to why there would be blonde hair in your hairball!'

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

"Your husband is fooling around."

"When he stopped to smell the flowers, his wife found out whose flowers they were!"

'I do still love you, Morton, but there's a subtext.'

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

"Your wife ran off with your best friend? Interesting... go with that."

Man singing 'I've lost that loving feeling' outside infertility clinic.

"If you kept up with my blog, you'd understand."

'-you would tell me if there was someone else, wouldn't you, Doris

'I'm very sorry, the tests have shown you're not a Queen: You can't have babies...'

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

"I've never asked Ralph, but I think there's another woman."

Another Case of Domestic Violins.

"Please Mr. Ainsworth - He may talk!"

'We can't have children . . . jack jumps over candlesticks.'

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'

'It's our wedding anniversary today, Pete, I bet my husband forgets all about it, again.'

Emotional Strongman

Busker singing 'I Lost That Loving Feeling' outside an infertility clinic.