Dealing With Infidelity Pillows

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

"So you think I should just ignore it?"

Mort, you haven't dealt with your anger over Sadie's infidelity. Tell her how you feel. Okay. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. You're a harlot and a tramp. Whatever. Mort, get some heart into it. Use your bullhorn. Harlot!!! Jerk!!! Good, feel the bitter recrimination.

'We recorded your wife's activities like you asked and-well...Are you sure you want to see the photos, Mr. Watts?'

'The first wives club'

'No, Keith. It isn't just the same as me bringing Teddy to bed!'

X marks the spot.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

"Better get two dozen. She won't be able to hit you as hard with both arms full."

"My dad was too much of a babe magnet for the marriage to have worked."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

'Right, how can I help you?'

"… and then Roger discovered fly fishing and I discovered Gregory."

"Your husband is fooling around."

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

'Now, I'm curious as to why there would be blonde hair in your hairball!'

"When he stopped to smell the flowers, his wife found out whose flowers they were!"

"Your wife ran off with your best friend? Interesting... go with that."

'I do still love you, Morton, but there's a subtext.'

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

Man singing 'I've lost that loving feeling' outside infertility clinic.

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

'I'm very sorry, the tests have shown you're not a Queen: You can't have babies...'

'-you would tell me if there was someone else, wouldn't you, Doris

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!

"If you kept up with my blog, you'd understand."

"I've never asked Ralph, but I think there's another woman."

'It's our wedding anniversary today, Pete, I bet my husband forgets all about it, again.'

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'

'We can't have children . . . jack jumps over candlesticks.'

Another Case of Domestic Violins.