Overcoming Infidelity Pillows

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

"Better get two dozen. She won't be able to hit you as hard with both arms full."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"My dad was too much of a babe magnet for the marriage to have worked."

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

'Right, how can I help you?'

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

"… and then Roger discovered fly fishing and I discovered Gregory."

'Now, I'm curious as to why there would be blonde hair in your hairball!'

"Your husband is fooling around."

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

'I do still love you, Morton, but there's a subtext.'

Mort, you haven't dealt with your anger over Sadie's infidelity. Tell her how you feel. Okay. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. You're a harlot and a tramp. Whatever. Mort, get some heart into it. Use your bullhorn. Harlot!!! Jerk!!! Good, feel the bitter recrimination.

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

"When he stopped to smell the flowers, his wife found out whose flowers they were!"

'The first wives club'

"Your wife ran off with your best friend? Interesting... go with that."

Man singing 'I've lost that loving feeling' outside infertility clinic.

"If you kept up with my blog, you'd understand."

'I'm very sorry, the tests have shown you're not a Queen: You can't have babies...'

"So you think I should just ignore it?"

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

'No, Keith. It isn't just the same as me bringing Teddy to bed!'

"I've never asked Ralph, but I think there's another woman."

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'-you would tell me if there was someone else, wouldn't you, Doris

Emotional Strongman

'It's our wedding anniversary today, Pete, I bet my husband forgets all about it, again.'

'We recorded your wife's activities like you asked and-well...Are you sure you want to see the photos, Mr. Watts?'

'We can't have children . . . jack jumps over candlesticks.'