Discovering Infidelity Gifts

"All right, so I made a mistake."

"Your husband is fooling around."

'I was just curious to see what my husband spends all his money on...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Better get two dozen. She won't be able to hit you as hard with both arms full."

"My dad was too much of a babe magnet for the marriage to have worked."

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

'Right, how can I help you?'

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

"… and then Roger discovered fly fishing and I discovered Gregory."

'Now, I'm curious as to why there would be blonde hair in your hairball!'

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

"When he stopped to smell the flowers, his wife found out whose flowers they were!"

'I do still love you, Morton, but there's a subtext.'

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

"Your wife ran off with your best friend? Interesting... go with that."

'The first wives club'

"So you think I should just ignore it?"

"If you kept up with my blog, you'd understand."

"I've never asked Ralph, but I think there's another woman."

'-you would tell me if there was someone else, wouldn't you, Doris

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

'No, Keith. It isn't just the same as me bringing Teddy to bed!'

"The wife is out 3 evenings a week with her driving instructor. I wouldn't mind but she passed her test in 1983!"

"Please Mr. Ainsworth - He may talk!"

'We recorded your wife's activities like you asked and-well...Are you sure you want to see the photos, Mr. Watts?'

Another Case of Domestic Violins.

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'

Emotional Strongman

'It's our wedding anniversary today, Pete, I bet my husband forgets all about it, again.'

X marks the spot.

'That was my wife calling from the conference centre - she wanted to make sure I'd put the rubbish out.'