Impulsive Athlete Gifts

Thrilled with his new driver, Mark simply couldn't wait to get to the range to try it out.

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

The Boys of Indian Summer

"I think we should immediately launch this program before our rational thinking sets in."

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"Never mind what's in the box. That'll be discussed at the end of the month."

"Baseball is boring."

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

"It's just that your acts of kindness are so random."

'You've got him worried - he's afraid he's going to kill you!'

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

"Gregorio, are you sure we're not rushing into things?"

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"You're such good company, impulsively purchased jumpsuit from last spring!"

"It doesn't matter what the score is. When kids play, they play to learn sportsmanship, teamwork and the benefits of physical activity."