Improvised Trip Planner T-Shirts

'...and ski conditions will be excellent on city streets today.'

Tourists

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Italia tours

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"It looks brighter over there!"

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'