Ironic Vacation Planner T-Shirts

"That's the last time I book our holidays at smartvacation.com!"

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"It looks brighter over there!"

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

"Every summer I regret having used up all my vacation days in January."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"Check our website sir. It clearly says bed in breakfast."

'I keep telling myself that this is better than a crowded beach in Spain...'

Working holiday.

"Are there sharks in the water?"

"Heads-up, the tourists are coming."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

The bulb family leaves for vacation