Ironic Vacation Planner Gifts

"That's the last time I book our holidays at smartvacation.com!"

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"It looks brighter over there!"

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Superman Going On Vacation.

"Every summer I regret having used up all my vacation days in January."

Only two months since school started. How long do you get off for summer break, Rudy? Oh, months and months. Just to kick back, sleep in late, have a great time with zero responsibility. Waaaa. Introduction to sarcasm. And I get tons of recess.

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."

"Thank god we're out of the city."

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

"Check our website sir. It clearly says bed in breakfast."

'I keep telling myself that this is better than a crowded beach in Spain...'

That's my summer place.

"Are there sharks in the water?"

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Travel Agency. We can afford far, and we can afford wide, but we can't afford both.