Ironic Planners Gifts

"I was going to discuss procrastination today, but I'm feeling rather tired. Maybe we could finish this off next week."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Sign Reform

"I might just get a pie."

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

"It's a game where we roll the dice to see which destination wedding we should spend our savings on this year."

This site acquired for yet another housing development.

"We can't go back to what we do best because that's obsolete now!"

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

Having shrewdly grabbed a window fan to bulk up his shirt, Winston hoped his buff look would land him a date.

Don't walk on the grass.

"We need a vacation..."

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

Homework eaten $2

"I thought about what you said and I've outlined a plan."

Annual Convention of Procrastinators: 'Where is everybody?'

"She always wanted a huge wedding."

Sunset gets later and later every day, little buddy. So what? So, sunset happens later in the day. That means I an accomplish a lot more before smooching hour. I can run an extra ten miles. I can chop an extra cord of firewood. I can catch an extra school of fish. I can prepare for my date by mining an extra nugget of lip balm from my secret lip balm quarry. I can download 30 extra books I'll never read.

'It's a new idea - a cell phone booth, where people can talk privately without disturbing others.'

"Big brother, can you lend me $20? But only give me $10."

"And I want to be buried face down! I'm a stomach sleeper."

Harold eats lunch like he plays golf.

'Parking is always such a problem in this town.'

'Hmmm... right, Wednesday, I've got 10:00 available...' - '...or I could reschedule my submissive at 11:00... yeah...' - 'Yeah... it's fine... no... he'll take it like a good little worm... ha, ha... okay... bye!'

Stan tries to have a surprise birthday party for himself.

"How long did they say this meeting would take?"

Mountain view with labels ranging from now to next to sometime to whenever.

Procrastinators anonymous - Tonight's meeting postponed. To be rescheduled eventually.

"Rumor has it they'll be putting up a Walmart here soon."

"Boy, makes me wonder what he wished for..."

Sadiekins? I feel you've unfairly judged me. How so, snookums? I've spent my entire life going against the grain, challenging the status quo. Being a rabble-rouser. Yet this morning you said I don't have a spontaneous bone in my body. Well, I've written a response to that and you're going to listen. Read the funny pages on the potty! Oh, wait. This is yesterday's itinerary.