Quirky Planners Gifts

"And I want to be buried face down! I'm a stomach sleeper."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

Bad Office Planning

"It's a game where we roll the dice to see which destination wedding we should spend our savings on this year."

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

New Year's eve plans!

'This isn't the first time you've been here---- is it ?'

"Legally, we're a farm."

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

Some blind dates work out just fine.

'Why not just serve Thanksgiving dinner in the shoe department next year and be done with it??'

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

'You and your shortcuts.'

"Could you deliver 500 pizzas over there at the sports shop? Just ask for Hank at the frisbee department."

Hot dog vendor is struck by a new business strategy...Grilled Bankers.

"I thought about what you said and I've outlined a plan."

Prisoners escaping in bubbles.

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."

Christening

"I'm using sticky notes to identify areas in my life that can be improved. This one says I need five bucks to buy more sticky notes."

'He always said he loved fireworks but I didn't think he would take it this far.'