Quirky Planner Gifts

Prisoners escaping in bubbles.

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Each to each, I always say! Share and share alike! I take pride in my cuisine, but at the same time I am willing to divvy up household chores with a wife. Say, a wife named Irma. That is, if Irma shares as breadwinner! I'll do the cooking! We'll split th

"Yellow? Don't call us until it's at least an orange alert."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

That's right, this brochure will help you preselect your final shoebox so your kids won't have to.

"Once we're in, Frank will get the TV remote, Eddie will grab the phone charger, and Ace - you'll be on tupperware lids."

"I'm using sticky notes to identify areas in my life that can be improved. This one says I need five bucks to buy more sticky notes."

"Could you deliver 500 pizzas over there at the sports shop? Just ask for Hank at the frisbee department."

Fisherman waiting with a mallet.

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

For use in case of wrongful arrest.

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"You like long walks in electrical storms too? Wow! We get a charge out of the same things."

"Here's something for all you animal lovers out there..."

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

'Pardon?'

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

Bad Office Planning

"The sign said 'No Shoes, No Service.' This could be a long wait."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

"If you're not doing anything after work, come by the conference room. We're going to be cracking open some beers and throwing some burgers on the copier."

"Thanks for a lovely evening, fancy coming in for some nitrous oxide?"

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

Me, Alice and God

New Year's eve plans!

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.