Quirky Career Planner Gifts

Creature Plumbing

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

The world's most unemployable family

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

Blend Schools

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

"Be honest. Where do you see me in five years?"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"Where do you see yourself in 100 years?"

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

Bad Office Planning

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

"I want to be a Jockey."

"Someday, I'm gonna be president of the United States."

'Any backup plan in case your dream of becoming a YouTube sensation doesn't pan out?'

'You know, I was buying this resume until I got to the part about you serving on your town's Ouija Board.'

'I think I've finally found my own niche.'

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

"I'd like a career that won't be taken over by robots."

"Any other skills?"

'We're WAVERING between a career for him in politics, medicine or the law.'

Sorry, Mr Arbutnot, I'm not interested

Career options for fleas were limited.

Let's see... Graduated from Notre Dame... Majored in bell ringing... Minored in stair climbing... Busted your hump for 3 years at the Frank & Stein facility conducting a brain research - Looks like you accidentally crossed out the 'R-E'. Heh.