Satirical Career Planner Gifts

"You can be whatever you want to be when you grow, thanks to identity theft."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

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"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

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"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'Job satisfaction is up, because there are fewer jobs.'

"Be honest. Where do you see me in five years?"

"Where do you see yourself in 100 years?"

"I want to be a Jockey."

"Someday, I'm gonna be president of the United States."

This site acquired for yet another housing development.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Any backup plan in case your dream of becoming a YouTube sensation doesn't pan out?'

'As a consultant, my job is to speak to you as if I knew how your business worked.'

'No experience necessary. We'll train you!'

"I want to be a footballer's wife."

"This job starts out at $50,000 and tops out at $75,000 after three years."

"My youngest is at the age when she can barely comprehend cost effective analysis."

No, Dad, they didn't give me a key to the 'executive washroom' with my promotion. These days you get the pin number to the unisex lounge.

"We are still hoping to add a few more details later."

"The kid next door is doing a school project on heighborhood success stories and wanted to talk to you. I laughed so hard I wet my pants."

If you could be any vegetarian, which one would you be and why?

"I'd like a career that won't be taken over by robots."

"Jones, we're transferring you to the complaint department. We need someone who's a sorry sight."

This company has enough clowns.

New To The Job: Pizza Delivery Guy

"Sir, are all these compliments and this reminiscing about my time here leading up to my termination?"

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