Ironic Meeting Planner Gifts

Procrastinators anonymous - Tonight's meeting postponed. To be rescheduled eventually.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Conference Pears

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

Meetings and Conventions - Warfare

'This isn't the meeting. This is the pre-premeeting to talk about when to meet and plan the meeting.'

Bad Office Planning

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'It was the only way he could fit us in at such short notice.'

'Any wriggle room?'

"Jenkins, I think you'll find the 'Any Other Business' section at the end of the agenda."

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Big Ben

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Gentlemen, circle around on the spot several times and be seated.' - At the dog AGM

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

New Year's eve plans!

'This isn't the first time you've been here---- is it ?'

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

'There are some gentlemen here who say that they want to drink your blood - do I show them in?'

'Now that we're all comfy Running Elk will read the minutes of the last meeting.'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

"A parent/teacher conference? Let me check my schedule and I'll have my people get with your people."

Conference pears

"The time management consultant called. He'll be a little late."

'You and your shortcuts.'