Improvised Café Goer Gifts

'I hear the buses aren't running today.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

Overly pierced man in a lot of pain.

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'

"So what exactly is wrong with the teabag? Nobody else has complained about it!"

"We don't serve food here, we only photograph it..."

Awning for Customer Use Only

"If you can safeguard this punch card for half a decade, you get a free coffee."

protecting keyboard from drink

Lunch at the Carlsbad Caverns.

"Soup of the day."

"Do you have 'Cheese and Pickle...?'"

"You know, I really, really, don't like ethnic restaurants."

Original Rory's - Under New MGMT.

"You cheeky little monkey, Stephen, trying to pinch a chip."

"Let's see... I think we'll ignore our food, lick ourselves, then knock these flowers onto the floor."

Home of the Bottomless Cup of Coffee

Hipster and his beard in a mug.

"Sorry, but we're the other kind of cat cafe."

"Tall and full-bodied...and really chocolaty brown too...if she gets me all nervous and excited, even better!"

Buy, Sell, or Trade - Leftovers Cafe.