Cultured Cafe Goer Gifts

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

'How would you like your toast?'

Meanwhile at the Cafe de la Mort...

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

French Street.

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

The partisan cafe

Cool coffee: An adult millennial daycare.

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

"Epiphany!!! . . . I'm running the cafe as a communist utopia!...I've charged everyone exactly the same for their muffins, when I should have means-testing. If you can afford to pay $650 for a muffin, well then by Ayn Rand, that's exactly what I should charge you."

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

'So how would you like your coffee...Small, Large or Intravenous???'

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

'Do you want flies with that?'

Olga's Cafeterear

"Is that decaf?"

"You've put a heart design on my coffee, are you hitting on me?"

"Typical. They're happy to benefit from our service but just try and come in as a customer."

"We don't serve food here, we only photograph it..."

Man commenting on his liking for the continent

"I need to devour the unborn!"