Quirky Coffee Shop Goer Gifts

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

You've Had Enough!

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

How About Serving Us For a Change

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

Hipster Coffee

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

'What are you staring at? You have free wi fi here, don't you?'

"And now for a long hard look at the changing profile of High Street Banking."

Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

Overly pierced man in a lot of pain.

"So what exactly is wrong with the teabag? Nobody else has complained about it!"

'Isn't this the couch we sold at our yard sale? The one the cat peed on?'

Your negative calorie vitamin water does not cause weight loss. That's false advertising. So you say: House of Java.net Cybercafe. Here's what I say I'm a small American businessman trying to make a living amid brutal economic times only to be rousted from my home by strong-armed federal regulators who hate liberty. Oh stop it. You look like Stalin. Call CNN.

Original Rory's - Under New MGMT.

"You cheeky little monkey, Stephen, trying to pinch a chip."

"Soup of the day."

"No... Last year I opened a combination hobby shop and home remedy store. The cops shut me down."

Lunch at the Carlsbad Caverns.

"Say when."

"You know, I really, really, don't like ethnic restaurants."

Home of the Bottomless Cup of Coffee

Hipster and his beard in a mug.