Improvisational Comedian Gifts

'When I sent your out for emergency supplies, I was thinking candles, blankets, and food.'

'We must be near civilisation - there's an abandoned supermarket trolley over there.'

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"Am I sensing fear?"

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

Frank Zappa

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Clown-filled vehicle in the car pool lane

Naughty Kid using a bin lid as a catapult.

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"What did he say?"

A true musician will learn to improvise when his instrument is in the pawn shop.

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

Pyramid Skiers

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

"I would have thought you'd be pleased."

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

New Belief Systems

Bearded man with baby sheltered under his beard.

Prompter malfunction. You're on your own.

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

I can never remember which colour is 'live'. - 'I wish there was a simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!' - 'I wish there was a safe simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it gingerly.' -

'...and why does it have to be MY shirt we use as a sail?'

"This is a real Dada performance."

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'

'My previous school only had a single-decker walking bus.'

Cello player using a comb

"The poor soul forgot his PowerPoint presentation and he's having to improvise."