Improvisational Comedian T-Shirts

'When I sent your out for emergency supplies, I was thinking candles, blankets, and food.'

'We must be near civilisation - there's an abandoned supermarket trolley over there.'

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"Am I sensing fear?"

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

Naughty Kid using a bin lid as a catapult.

Clown-filled vehicle in the car pool lane

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

A true musician will learn to improvise when his instrument is in the pawn shop.

"What did he say?"

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

Pyramid Skiers

"I would have thought you'd be pleased."

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

New Belief Systems

Bearded man with baby sheltered under his beard.

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

Prompter malfunction. You're on your own.

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

I can never remember which colour is 'live'. - 'I wish there was a simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!' - 'I wish there was a safe simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it gingerly.' -

"This is a real Dada performance."

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'

'...and why does it have to be MY shirt we use as a sail?'

'My previous school only had a single-decker walking bus.'

Cello player using a comb

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'We totally ran out of diapers while you were out. I took care of it.'