Impressionist Connoisseur Gifts

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Felix Mendelssohn

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

"Hamlet. By William Shakespeare." Painting.

Truman Capote

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"I have to say candidate two made a very good impression."

"See that? He's the kind of peasant I detest."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Vincent Van Goat.

Farmer's looking at paintings of haystacks.

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

Pyramids exploding.

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

Charlotte Rampling

The Red Carpet

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

Petrarch

The Algonquin Round Table

"Lou, c'm'ere - you gotta check out this guy's Degas!"

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Monet in the '90s.

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

Maurice Ravel.

"Is it just me, or do these sculptural forms of light and shadow make you think about the ephemeral nature of life, the spirituality of the moment eclipsing our futile quest for cheese?"

Tracey Emin's Bed