Impatience Humor Gifts

"If this is going to take long, is there some place I can charge my phone?"

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'What do you mean we can't finish on time? Do you want history to say that Rome wasn't built in a day?'

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

Clancy Strip:At a Restaurant

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

"I hate waiting! I know! I'll set this clock back an hour, and then in an hour...I'll move it forward, and 60 minutes will go by in a flash! Of course, we'll have to do this 176 more times."

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

"I didn't prioritize my day and now I'm stagnant."

"I hate waiting, don't you?" (patents office)

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

"Actually it's not my business plan. It's my plan for planning a plan."

"No decision yet, he's still sleeping on it"

No Presents Until Christmas Day

'Fine, I'll put up the shelving.'

How to make every minute count.

"This is the office of 'so now you've decided that you finally need to graduate.' How may I help you?"

'There's Ron. He's always struggling with his wait.'

Two horizons, no waiting...

"My age is 55 but when I came in I was still 54..."

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh..."

"And Dave, you receive Mildred's visual basic control collection."

The speediness of today's world and its logical conclusion.

'You have reached the technical assistance hotline. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please call back later.'

"Long wait?"

'Are you done yet?'

Human Cull: People who spend 10 minutes in line for food and only read the menu to make up their mind when they get to the front.

"You finished in there yet?"

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.

'...your father has also bequeathed your Grandfather;s place on the allotment waiting list to you, as he hoped that one day a family member may get allocated a plot'

"Pass me one of them, love."

"All right, but just one more episode."