Image Consultant Gifts

'How much for the mirror?'

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

"Now go to the comment box under your picture and type, 'No matter what you've been hearing, I'm really a very nice person.' "

"Wow! Who's your image consultant?"

Presenting a better image

"My image consultant wants me to look in a mirror."

"We'll make you appear smart, but a little inarticulate - instead of somebody who is stupid and doesn't know what he's talking about."

'We've written an honest speech that presents you ‘warts and all.' All you need is a voice coach, image consultant and makeup artist.'

"Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been reading written?"

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"I want you to make me the fairest of them all."

Image Consultant

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

You called? Yes, I need a new image!

The image consultant recommended a change of name

Style Consultant

Corporate Image Consultant

"I charge very competitive rates."

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Satan relaxes at home with the Hounds of Hell and Ted, his favorite image/media consultant.

"When they get injured now, the physio goes on first followed by their stylist and image consultant..."

The New Trump

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

"Girls are so hard to figure out."

"You really think this will improve my reputation?"

Image consultants office with 'Impress' written above the doorbell.

"I'd like it to say 'Responsible' as well as - you know -'with-it'."

Body language consultant

"I've been typecast as a fat, bald white guy - what can you do for me?"

I suggest you get a new chairman.

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

"Being crucified is really hip! The last guy who did it upon my advice is now an immortal superstar!"

A man tries on different cigars in front of a mirror.