Mini Image Consultant Gifts

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

That shows business confidence.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'There! Now you won't get tangles!'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"On yesterday's news, we left Bill and Hillary and Al and Tipper in the Midwest, preparing to go their separate ways after their bus trip. Meanwhile, their nemesis, George, upset by the latest popularity polls, was consulting with his friend James about h

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'I can't take Barbie to Show and Tell...she doesn't have a thing to wear!'

'It's getting harder to tell when the news stops and the spin begins.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Can you give me your opinion on the 'Paid for' magazines debate?" "Sure...but it will cost you"

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

"The issues are a big snore, Dave. Let's talk about my hair on fire."

Lights Action Camera Justice

The Court of Public Opinion

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

News remote

"I didn't know you could get a PhD in Spin."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'