Ideal Job Seeker Gifts

"Shhhh....I'm at the office, but my skills are being appreciated and my pay reflects my hard work."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

How are you at decision making?

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I don't like your application."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Between Offices

In and Out Sourced.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

Caged Businessman

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'