Ice Skating Comedian Gifts

'I call that check my 'Pancake Special'.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

The rocket powered skiier

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

The Hockey Puckey

Greco-polar wrestling

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

"Whoa. How deep is that powder?" "You'll have to ask my wife. I'm standing on her shoulders."

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

Skier leaves his skis behind.

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

My tail's cold.

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"Didn't I say to just sprinkle salt on it!"

His Other Shtick

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

The real reason the Chinese emperor built the great wall.

"Put on a top hat and scarf. You'll freeze your carrot off!"

Deep Snow All Around

Self-Propelled Skating Gadget

Snowman asks boy: 'Mind if I come in too? It's freezing out here.'

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

"Long term I'm worried about global warming - short term, about freezing my ass off."

"Use a hockey stick – make it look like a game."

The freezer broke at the hockey rink last night. By the end of the game there was seven feet of water! They must have taken out the first string and put in the subs!

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."