Ice Skating Comedian Pillows

'I call that check my 'Pancake Special'.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

The rocket powered skiier

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

Greco-polar wrestling

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

Skier leaves his skis behind.

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

"Whoa. How deep is that powder?" "You'll have to ask my wife. I'm standing on her shoulders."

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"Didn't I say to just sprinkle salt on it!"

His Other Shtick

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

"Put on a top hat and scarf. You'll freeze your carrot off!"

Deep Snow All Around

Snowman asks boy: 'Mind if I come in too? It's freezing out here.'

Self-Propelled Skating Gadget

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

"Long term I'm worried about global warming - short term, about freezing my ass off."

Hockey Pairs Skaters.

"Use a hockey stick – make it look like a game."

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."