Ice Rink Humorist Gifts

His Other Shtick

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

The rocket powered skiier

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Rude Snowpeople

Shaved Ice

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

Titanic iceberg auction

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"Whoa. How deep is that powder?" "You'll have to ask my wife. I'm standing on her shoulders."

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

'I've been through your tax return and for the minute there's nothing to worry about.'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

The Pole Vault Washing Line

T-Rex Ski Jump Fail

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

'Paperwork just lacked that personal touch, don't you agree?'

"Is it me or does this taste like boogers?"

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

Eskimo Breaking Wind

Track & Field & Stream magazine

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

Joe shoots his best scores with his graphite shaft!

The real reason the Chinese emperor built the great wall.

Self-Propelled Skating Gadget

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

"This space intentionally left blank."