Ice Hockey Humorist Gifts

Penalty box

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

Gary turns 40.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

The Hockey World

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'