Hockey Humorists Gifts

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Gary turns 40.

Alternative fielding positions

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

The Hockey World

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Where's my horse?'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Footballer kicking his own brain.

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'