Hypnosis Curious Gifts

"Don't worry about John. He just went to a hypnotist to improve his game."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

I'm afraid that if I allow you to hypnotize me you'll make me act out some stupid pantomime for your own amusement. Can you assure me that you won't do that? I'm only human, Al.

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

Hypnotoon

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

"No, I'm not asleep, but my foot is."

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"I like everything you suggest, except for the part where you count to three to wake me up. Can we just skip that part?"

'And you will stay here until the Andersons' bathroom renovation is finished entirely. You will not leave, not even for a moment...'

"When you awake you will feel fine, you will have no pain, and... Oh, what the hell... you will cluck like a chicken for ten seconds."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

Snake charmer hypnotizes aliens in flying saucer

'... And you say that this hypnotist promised to relax you for this interview? '

Nap time!

"What the hell was in that?!"

Quiet Night

'Apparently I was wrong about you being Elvis in a past life.. It turns out you were an Elvis impersonator.'

Hypnotist - "You are going into a deeeep sleeep"

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

Spaghetti Hypnotice

". . . 5. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2 . . . 1. . . Ok that's enough time infront of the painting. You may go in and see him now."

Crystal ball tells fortune teller: 'He's screwed.'

Your eyelids are growing heavy … No, wait … Better yet, your lips are growing heavy … !!!