Hypnosis Junkie Gifts

Hypnotism

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Mail's here."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

'They're showing 'Jaws' on TV tonight: The beaches should be quiet for a few days after that!'

Hypnotoon

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

Homing pigeons in therapy.

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"No, I'm not asleep, but my foot is."

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

"It's taking more and more destruction just to feel anything."

"I like everything you suggest, except for the part where you count to three to wake me up. Can we just skip that part?"

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

'And you will stay here until the Andersons' bathroom renovation is finished entirely. You will not leave, not even for a moment...'

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

Snake charmer hypnotizes aliens in flying saucer

'No enemies, Miss, could you give men a list of his friends?'

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

"Let's park on the other side, just to be on the safe side."

"When you awake you will feel fine, you will have no pain, and... Oh, what the hell... you will cluck like a chicken for ten seconds."

'... And you say that this hypnotist promised to relax you for this interview? '

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

'And I have an overwhelming desire to be needed...'

Anthony Rottweiler: Motivational Dog Speaker

Quiet Night