Therapy Junkie Gifts

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'

Overjumpers

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Exercise now!

'I hate Mondays.'

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Psychiatry in the Park

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

'My rates vary - how sane do you want to get?'

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"Tap anywhere to begin."

"I like everything you suggest, except for the part where you count to three to wake me up. Can we just skip that part?"

'What magnificent whiskers My wife would never let me grow anything like THAT'

"Is it possible you have a desire to get caught?"

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

DNA Analysis

"Sorry, I didn't realize you saw me in the stands booing you."

'And I have an overwhelming desire to be needed...'

"I'm afraid you suffer from 'Teen Traumatic Stress Disorder.' Once your kids grow up, it'll go away."

'Because I recently furthered my education...I can take you back to your childhood for real, Mrs. Dunlap.'

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"

'You're overworked.'

"That was fun. What time does the next trial of the century start?"

'It may not seem like anyone cares, but they do. Try missing a payment or two and you'll see what I mean.'