Therapy Joker Gifts

Society of Acupuncturists Darts Tournaments.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Homing pigeons in therapy.

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

"It's taking more and more destruction just to feel anything."

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'

Psychobabble.

Why don't we just talk first before we resort to that.

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"5 second rule!"

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"I'm not finished exercising. I still have a couple of laps to go."

"Hang on a second! This nutcase is allowed on the furniture, but I'm not?!"

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

We're making real progress, Al. With my problems, or with the construction of your beach house?

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

"My wife says I bore people to death."

'Hope that Medicare will kick in to help with my developing headache pain!'

HELP!!! Speaking as a professional psychiatrist, I believe I'm detecting a cry for help.