Therapy Session Joker Gifts

"Now be honest with me, Miss LaRue, you like people staring at you,don't you?"

"Hang on a second! This nutcase is allowed on the furniture, but I'm not?!"

Psychobabble.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

Long-legged clown...

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

"I've switched from talking to myself to talking at myself."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

"I'm not finished exercising. I still have a couple of laps to go."

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

Anger Management Class: Gone berserk, back in one hour.

'Let me know when you find it difficult to speak.'

'I don't feel I stand out in a crowd anymore.'

"Not every dream is about you, Mom."

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."

'Not much of a support group are they.'

"Are you blushing?!"

"Do I come here often?"

'I don't need informed consent to take your temperature.'

"OK, let's talk about your narcissistic tendencies."

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."