Hygiene Expert Gifts

The Gingerbread Man Decides to Stop Running. Haven't you people ever heard of the 5-second rule?!

"Still having some problems with the halitosis Mr Bobbins?"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

The Cougher

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Whack-a-molecule

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

Loofah Lady

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Humans are strange."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Hand sanitizer

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Wash your hands

"No Hand Sanitiser"

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

You have the worst spring breath.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'