Hygiene Expert Gifts

"Still having some problems with the halitosis Mr Bobbins?"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

The Cougher

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

Whack-a-molecule

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Loofah Lady

"Humans are strange."

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Hand sanitizer

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Wash your hands

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.