Cleaning Expert Gifts

Spring cleaning with the cat.

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Sweep the board.

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'But you said to clean my room.'

"Our robot vacuum's setting might be set too high. Our carpet is gone."

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

I'm organizing the house. Can I help? Do you have any storage bins for stuff we don't use very often? Hold on. I have just the thing! Thanks, mom.

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

'I guess they're not here for contact.'

Dust Bunny

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"Look at the state of this place! Don't you ever use that thing to sweep up?!"

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"They weren't kidding when they said a women's work is never done!"

'Why not Google it?'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

Cleaning up space junk.

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

"We've done it! We've done it! We've discovered a detergent that takes the chore out of washing and makes all other detergents seem old-fashioned by comparison!"

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said to clean your room.'

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"Hello job security."

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

Carpet Cleaner.