Hygiene Guru Gifts

"I'm sorry, but I can't hear you over the smell of your breath."

Elephant with cotton buds.

Savoy Dental Salon

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Dating is so expensive...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Be creative...!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Whack-a-molecule

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'