Hygiene Guru Gifts

"I'm sorry, but I can't hear you over the smell of your breath."

Elephant with cotton buds.

Savoy Dental Salon

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

Self help acupuncture

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Dating is so expensive...

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Be creative...!"

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Whack-a-molecule

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

National Academy of Sport