Humorous Trainer Pillows

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

Dog Training For The Ninties

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Bench Press Accident

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"I love what you've done with him."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Still on your left."

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Jeff was watching his weight.

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"He would rather die than salivate!"

Please seat to be weighted.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Pontius Pilates

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

Plan B

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

'Swimming back to the mainland to see some football game is stupid. Besides you're so out of shape, you wouldn't get 10 feet.'

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

"You were right, we should've used a smaller medicine ball."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.