Dog Trainer With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"He would rather die than salivate!"

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Bad dog!"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Good Dog!

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

The Haunted Dog House

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

Puppy school vs. kitten school

Dog Training For The Ninties

Bad Dog

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"I never liked dogs in any of my previous lives either."

"Here's what you do when you're kenneled: find the biggest dog in the joint and kick his #!@*."

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

'Do you extract teeth?'

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

Genius Parrot

"I'm not supposed to eat things I find on the ground...but I think this might be ok."

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'

101 uses of a dead cat: shoe brush