Puppy Trainer Chuckles Pillows

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

Pavlov's Puppy

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"I'm training him."

"He would rather die than salivate!"

Dog Training For The Ninties

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

'Well, it wasn't me.'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

"That's where I do 'my business'."

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch, not kvetch."

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"I'm not supposed to eat things I find on the ground...but I think this might be ok."

"Here's what you do when you're kenneled: find the biggest dog in the joint and kick his #!@*."

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

"If she can find all the bones she's buried, she's my next investment counselor."

Although Bowser did seem to understand the concept of being house-trained.....

'Now what?'

'That's what I call well trained gun dogs.'

"Yes, our master named us Romeo and Juliet. It's kind of ironic though since we can't stand each other..."

"It's called 'salad,' but it's really just a hunk of raw meat."

I wonder what fiendish plan those two morons are plotting aginst me...

"Of course I'm supposed to be on it. It's Barkolounger."

"I'm sorry that Ted ever taught him to smoke. It's costing us a fortune!"

'That's when he tries to sound like Pavorotti. Now here's how he sounds when he hits his finger with a hammer...'

The Middle-Aged Dog. Wait – Why did I run into this field?

'I do so worry that there may be cruelty in their training.'

Dogs at obedience school

"Good Lord, it wasn't a dream after all! I did shake hands with Rudy Giuliani!!"