Dog Training Humorist Pillows

"Of course I'm supposed to be on it. It's Barkolounger."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

Dogs texting each other emojis

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"She never took to the leash."

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

"He would rather die than salivate!"

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"My human can't tell which end is which."

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'