Dog Owner Humorist Pillows

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

'How many times did I say it? Rex, I said, don't go too close to the cliff.'

"Goddam Dogs."

"I happen."

"That cat's tweets are always the same, 'Just took a nap'."

Cat Mask

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Can you please keep in harmony?"

"Well, I didn't eat Young Master's homework per se, but I have to shamefully admit I did chew on his woodworking project..."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"I'll distract him by pretending to throw a ball. That's when you grab some catnip toys and run."

For sale! Bulldog

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

'They sure have small litters.'

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Dogs texting each other emojis

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."