Playful Trainer Pillows

'He taught me how to fetch, heel and roll over. And I taught him all he needs to know about cats.'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Pavlov's Puppy

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

Balloon dog training

Junior Doctor.

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

Playing Doctors.

"A workshop will be offered on the topic of decision-making....I could possibly take part....o the other hand...."

"Race you to the spleen!"

Dog Training For The Ninties

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

She provided customer service training to a diverse audience.

Executive board meeting discussing new training strategy.

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch, not kvetch."

'Come and see this,Dad!'

I'm here for my training course. - 'Please take a seat' - 'Ah... ten blissful minutes to read the paper in silence.' - '' - 'Did you park in the red bay?' - 'Yes.' - 'Big mistake, 'half pint'. You can't park there.' - 'But...' - 'Move it!!!' - 'Okay, ok

"You're training puppy to be housebroken? Looks like she already knows how to break a house!"

Javelin

Chinese whispers: "This active listening workshop sounds useful!" "Why would I want to go to Worksop?"

'Hang on, before you wash those have you completed module B/c2 of your mandatory training in 'hand sanitisation' procedures?'

"Can somebody. . . hello?. . . can somebody call the dog. . . hello? . . ."

Human resources confidentiality.

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"