Humorous Trainer Gifts

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

Dog Training For The Ninties

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"I love what you've done with him."

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"He would rather die than salivate!"

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

Please seat to be weighted.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

Jeff was watching his weight.

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

Pontius Pilates

Plan B

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

'Swimming back to the mainland to see some football game is stupid. Besides you're so out of shape, you wouldn't get 10 feet.'