Animal Trainer Laugh Gifts

Dogs at obedience school

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Quick, start the car!"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Cat Show

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Snake Charmer's Snake on Strike.

Pavlov's Cat

"I always wanted to work with animals."

'Mum, I'm in some kind of circular arena with a guy waving a red cloth at me: Any advice?'

Treading a fine lion.