Amused Trainer Gifts

"Can somebody. . . hello?. . . can somebody call the dog. . . hello? . . ."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Balloon dog training

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"I'm training him."

"A workshop will be offered on the topic of decision-making....I could possibly take part....o the other hand...."

"He would rather die than salivate!"

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

'Tell me again why we are afraid of chairs.'

She provided customer service training to a diverse audience.

Dog Training For The Ninties

"We walked him a lot when he was a puppy. . . now he walks us."

"Don't worry dude, that's not the intercom, here, give me the manual."

Mrs Dellarosa will teach us a catch tune about how to use the new copier.

Executive board meeting discussing new training strategy.

I'm here for my training course. - 'Please take a seat' - 'Ah... ten blissful minutes to read the paper in silence.' - '' - 'Did you park in the red bay?' - 'Yes.' - 'Big mistake, 'half pint'. You can't park there.' - 'But...' - 'Move it!!!' - 'Okay, ok

"I'm not supposed to eat things I find on the ground...but I think this might be ok."

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'We've listened to staff concerns about the need for more training.'

"Here's what you do when you're kenneled: find the biggest dog in the joint and kick his #!@*."

Chinese whispers: "This active listening workshop sounds useful!" "Why would I want to go to Worksop?"

'Hang on, before you wash those have you completed module B/c2 of your mandatory training in 'hand sanitisation' procedures?'

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"