Humorous Poet Gifts

Jump-Rope Rhymes For Adults

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"The Eggsorcist"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Kultural K9's.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.