Poetic Humorist Gifts

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"You're going to hate yourself."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"The Eggsorcist"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition